Saturday, June 23, 2012

Still Blessed

When I email, call, leave voice messages, texts, BBMs, direct messages on facebook & exhaust all lines of communication but snail mail, and you don't have the consideration to respond to any of my efforts, you show me that you were never a true friend, you were never my 'sister' or 'brother' and you had ulterior motives even being in my cypher.

When I support you on every level, I become a little frustrated, knowing I put forth such an effort for a great cause at the time and because you're doin well, now, you don't even know me. I have to teach myself over and over that I cannot believe what people say because their actions always show the REAL.

I am still learning to ration out my compassion to those who prove worthy of having it because so many have taken advantage of my good heart and nurturing spirit. I've engulfed myself in helping others for several years, so I think it's time for me to do the same for myself.

I find that it's time to rejuvenate and love, pamper and concentrate on me for a minute. I also know that it is time to associate with a better - yes! I said better - caliber of people. People who practice what they preach so that I can literally see them in the process of showing and proving. I appreciate no nonsense men & women who are not only about their external business (clean appearance, career/entrepreneurial ventures, money-making, activism, etc.) but take pride in their individual internal business (hygiene, intelligence, beliefs,  convictions, goals, etc). I don't knock folks who have yet to find their focus and encourage them to continue looking and asking questions. I can rock with them, as well.

But, I'm letting loose the stragglers that I tend to keep around who have nothing to offer & don't call until they need something. I'm deleting more people from my social network accounts and phone. I've said this before and I've done it before. I can't change the soul I hold but every instance that I come to this realization, it's for a different chain of events...

Everyday is new and I appreciate the wisdom that comes with experience. I'm not bitter or slighted after viewing the full scope of things. I'll admit I am still a student in this lesson called life but I love the challenge of learning new things, watching new developments and comprehending the nuances of the human psyche. Life is what you make it & I'm blessed!